There are no planets in retrograde!
Greetings, astro-lovers! It seems our dear planets are all in a tizzy with their retrogrades. But fear not, for I, your favorite funny astrologer, am here to guide you through the chaos.
Mercury retrograde in Aries may have you feeling like a bull in a china shop. But don't worry, just take a deep breath and remember to think before you charge ahead. #ThinkBeforeYouAct
Venus retrograde in Taurus may have you feeling like your love life is stuck in a rut. But fear not, dear heart, this is just a temporary setback. Take some time to indulge in self-love and pampering. #SelfLoveIsKey
Mars retrograde in Cancer may have you feeling like your emotions are all over the place. But don't let your feelings get the best of you, dear warrior. Take some time to reflect and recharge. #EmotionsAreValid
Jupiter retrograde in Aries may have you feeling like you're not making progress towards your goals. But fear not, dear adventurer, just keep pushing forward and trust that success will come in due time. #PatienceIsAVirtue
Saturn retrograde in Pisces may have you feeling like you're swimming upstream. But remember, dear dreamer, that your hard work and perseverance will pay off in the end. #DreamBig
Uranus retrograde in Taurus may have you feeling like your world is turned upside down. But fear not, dear rebel, embrace the chaos and use this time to break free from old patterns. #EmbraceChange
Neptune retrograde in Pisces may have you feeling like you're lost at sea. But don't lose hope, dear visionary, trust your intuition and keep your eyes on the horizon. #TrustYourGut
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