"Cancerian Crustaceans, Brace For A Galactic Roller Coaster of Emotions - Just Another Tuesday in the Universe!"

"Crabby Cancer, Prepare to Retreat into Your Shell: Mercury Retrograde is Coming and It's Bringing All Its Baggage!"

"Cancer, This Week Your Stars Align Like a Galactic Sudoku Puzzle: Prepare for Cosmic Giggles and Intergalactic Twister!"

"Cancer, It's Time to Use the Force: Your Crabby Shell Can't Resist the Cosmic Pull This Month!"

"Directive 1: Protect the innocent. Directive 2: Uphold the law. Directive 3: Don't eat shellfish on Tuesday - Moon's in retrograde, Cancer!"