There are no planets in retrograde!
Humorous Horoscope
Welcome to the Nerdy Astrologer's Planetary Retrograde Horoscope!
Greetings, fellow science-loving stargazers! Gather 'round as I unveil the mysteries of the cosmos, with a side of humor and a touch of hippie vibes. Let's dive into the wacky world of planetary retrogrades, shall we? ✌🔭🌌
Mercury in Taurus 🌌🐂💬
Mercury is chillin' like a villain in the sign of Taurus. Communication might be slower than a dial-up connection, but hey, remember the good ol' days? Time to dust off that snail mail and embrace your inner tortoise. 🐢✉ #SlowAndSteadyWinsTheRace
Venus in Gemini 💕👯♀️🌌
Love is in the air, or is it? Venus is playing "musical chairs" with our hearts in the sign of Gemini. One minute, you're all about your bae, and the next, you're swiping left and right like a pro. It's okay—embrace your inner love-nerd and channel that energy into winning at trivia night! 🤓💘 #TriviaLoveLife
Mars in Cancer 🌌🦀⚔️
Mars is feeling homesick in the cozy sign of Cancer. Your inner warrior might be craving a Netflix binge and a cup of hot cocoa. Embrace the art of pillow fort-making and defend your territory from invading dust bunnies. ⚔️🐰 #PillowFortWarrior
Jupiter in Aries 🌌🐏🎉
Jupiter is partying like it's 1999 in the sign of A
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