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The ChipWitch
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RETROGRADE REPORT for
29 March, 2024
 
What's Up Today?

There are no planets in retrograde!

Today's Astrology Forecast

G'day, space travelers! Get ready to blast off on another interstellar adventure through the cosmos. We're living in a planetary soup where Mercury is doing its best Rambo impression in Aries, and Venus is channeling its inner mermaid in Pisces. Just don't forget to come up for air!

Mars, also hanging out in Pisces, is just waiting for a chance to show off its water ballet skills. Meanwhile, Jupiter in Taurus is busy cultivating its bonsai garden. Saturn, yet another Piscean, is trying to meditate but keeps getting distracted by Uranus’ electric guitar solos in Taurus.

Neptune is also in Pisces, feeling a bit left out because it doesn't have any cool props. And finally, Pluto in Aquarius is standing in the corner of our cosmic party, wearing a tin-foil hat and mumbling about alien abductions.

So folks, what does this mean for you? Well, expect a wild ride of cosmic energy. Embrace the chaos, channel your inner zen master, and remember – even in the vast expanse of the universe, there's always room for a little fun and laughter.

#AstroHumor #CosmicChaos #PlanetaryBallet #TinfoilHatTime
The Moon
moon

The moon is currently in Scorpio, at 22 degrees, 50' 08", at a velocity of 12.36 degrees per day.

The Waning Gibbous moon is currently 18.4 days old. It is 393340.63 km from the centre of the Earth.

The next new moon is at 18:23:21, 8 Apr 2024. The next full moon is at 23:51:09, 23 Apr 2024.
The Solar System at a Glance

Solar wind parameters returned to nominal levels. Total magnetic field strength was below 5 nT. Solar wind speeds ended the period near ~400 km/s. Phi angle was predominantly negative.

There is a 25% chance of solar activity, with a 10% chance of a minor event, a 1% chance of a moderate event, and a 1% chance of a strong event.
Planetary Motions
planet
 
Mercury
 
Not in Retrograde
 
 
 
Mercury is currently in Aries.

Fun Fact About Mercury
 
Mercury.Retrograde.Today
planet
 
Venus
 
Not in Retrograde
 
 
 
Venus is currently in Pisces.
 
Venus.Retrograde.Today
planet
 
Mars
 
Not in Retrograde
 
 
 
Mars is currently in Pisces.
 
Mars.Retrograde.Today
planet
 
Jupiter
 
Not in Retrograde
 
 
 
Jupiter is currently in Taurus.
 
Jupiter.Retrograde.Today
planet
 
Saturn
 
Not in Retrograde
 
 
 
Saturn is currently in Pisces.
 
Saturn.Retrograde.Today
planet
 
Uranus
 
Not in Retrograde
 
 
 
Uranus is currently in Taurus.
 
Uranus.Retrograde.Today
planet
 
Neptune
 
Not in Retrograde
 
 
 
Neptune is currently in Pisces.
 
Neptune.Retrograde.Today
planet
 
Pluto
 
Not in Retrograde
 
 
 
Pluto is currently in Aquarius.
 
Pluto.Retrograde.Today
 
new shirt designs
New Shirt Designs!
It's Not Me!
 
Get Yours Today!
new t-shirts
New Shirt Designs!
It's Not Me!
 
Get Yours Today!
logo
 
Retrograde Report
Copyright © 2023, Sleestaq, LLC
Brought to you daily by The Chip Witch.
Sleestaq ® is a registered trademark of Sleestaq, LLC.
 
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  • select `a`.`id` as `cat_fg_id`, `a`.`category_id` as `cat_fg_category_id`, `a`.`group_id` as `cat_fg_group_id`, `fg`.`id` as `fg_id`, `fg`.`title` as `fg_title`, `fg`.`description` as `fg_description`, `fg`.`created` as `fg_created`, `fg`.`state` as `fg_state`, `fg`.`read` as `fg_read`, `fg`.`write` as `fg_write`, `fg`.`params` as `fg_params`, `f`.`id` as `f_id`, `f`.`group_id` as `f_group_id`, `f`.`title` as `f_title`, `f`.`help` as `f_help`, `f`.`state` as `f_state`, `f`.`required` as `f_required`, `f`.`type` as `f_type`, `f`.`params` as `f_params`, `f`.`created` as `f_created`, `f`.`options` as `f_options`, `f`.`ordering` as `f_ordering`,`fv`.`id` as `fv_id`, `fv`.`field_id` as `fv_field_id`, `fv`.`post_id` as `fv_post_id`, `fv`.`value` as `fv_value` from `chip_easyblog_category_fields_groups` as a inner join `chip_easyblog_post_category` as p on `a`.`category_id` = `p`.`category_id` inner join `chip_easyblog_fields_groups` as fg on `a`.`group_id` = `fg`.`id` inner join `chip_easyblog_fields` as f on `fg`.`id` = `f`.`group_id` left join `chip_easyblog_fields_values` as fv on `fv`.`field_id` = `f`.`id` and `fv`.`post_id` = `p`.`post_id` LEFT JOIN `chip_easyblog_fields_groups_acl` AS acl ON fg.`id` = acl.`group_id` where `p`.`post_id` = '61636' AND ( acl.`acl_id` IN(9) AND acl.`acl_type` = 'read' OR acl.`id` IS NULL )1.26ms2.83KB/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php:298Copy
  • select * from `chip_easyblog_meta` where `content_id` in (61636) and `type` = 'post'817μs928B/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php:298Copy
  • SELECT * FROM `chip_easyblog_meta` WHERE `content_id` = '61636' AND `type` = 'post'803μs928B/libraries/src/Table/Table.php:780Copy
  • SELECT * FROM `chip_menu` WHERE `published`='1' AND `link` LIKE 'index.php?option=com_easyblog%' AND `client_id` = '0' ORDER BY `id`1.71ms51.27KB/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php:298Copy
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  • SELECT `key`,`value` FROM `chip_easyblog_post_assets` WHERE `post_id`='61636'776μs528B/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php:298Copy
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  • SELECT `id` FROM `chip_menu` WHERE ( `link` LIKE 'index.php?option=com_easyblog&view=entry&id=61636%' OR `link` LIKE 'index.php?option=com_easyblog&view=entry&id=61636%' ) AND `published`='1' AND (`language`='en-GB' OR `language`='' OR `language`='*') LIMIT 11.86ms520B/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php:298Copy
  • SELECT a.`id`, a.`title` FROM `chip_easyblog_post` AS `a` INNER JOIN `chip_users` AS uu ON a.`created_by` = uu.`id` and uu.`block` = 0 WHERE a.`published` = '1' AND a.`state` = '0' AND a.`access`='0' AND ( NOT EXISTS ( select acp.post_id from `chip_easyblog_post_category` as acp inner join `chip_easyblog_category` as cat on acp.`category_id` = cat.`id` where acp.`post_id` = a.`id` and ( ( cat.`private` = 1 and (0 = 0) ) OR ( cat.`private` = 2 and (select count(1) from `chip_easyblog_category_acl` as cacl where cacl.`category_id` = cat.`id` and cacl.`acl_id` = 1 and cacl.`content_id` IN (9)) = 0 ) ))) AND a.`source_type`='easyblog.sitewide' AND a.`id` NOT IN(61636) AND a.`created` < '2024-03-29 06:01:10' ORDER BY a.`created` DESC LIMIT 11.45ms592B/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php:298Copy
  • SELECT a.`id`, a.`title` FROM `chip_easyblog_post` AS `a` INNER JOIN `chip_users` AS uu ON a.`created_by` = uu.`id` and uu.`block` = 0 WHERE a.`published` = '1' AND a.`state` = '0' AND a.`access`='0' AND ( NOT EXISTS ( select acp.post_id from `chip_easyblog_post_category` as acp inner join `chip_easyblog_category` as cat on acp.`category_id` = cat.`id` where acp.`post_id` = a.`id` and ( ( cat.`private` = 1 and (0 = 0) ) OR ( cat.`private` = 2 and (select count(1) from `chip_easyblog_category_acl` as cacl where cacl.`category_id` = cat.`id` and cacl.`acl_id` = 1 and cacl.`content_id` IN (9)) = 0 ) ))) AND a.`source_type`='easyblog.sitewide' AND a.`id` NOT IN(61636) AND a.`created` > '2024-03-29 06:01:10' ORDER BY a.`created` ASC LIMIT 11.26ms592B/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php:298Copy
  • SELECT * FROM `chip_easyblog_post` WHERE `id` = '61635'859μs5.34KB/libraries/src/Table/Table.php:780Copy
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  • SELECT COUNT(1) as `voted`, `uid` FROM `chip_easyblog_ratings` WHERE `uid` IN (61635,61637) AND `type`='entry' AND `created_by`='0' AND (`sessionid` = 'q4u6o7jub8bn6und4pbeijlte2' OR `ip` = '216.73.216.147') GROUP BY `uid` ORDER BY NULL943μs576B/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php:298Copy
  • SELECT AVG(`value`) AS `ratings` ,COUNT(1) AS `total` ,`uid` FROM `chip_easyblog_ratings` AS a WHERE a.`uid` IN(61635,61637) AND `type`='entry' GROUP BY `uid` ORDER BY NULL840μs640B/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php:298Copy
  • select a.*, b.`post_id`, b.`primary` from `chip_easyblog_category` as a inner join `chip_easyblog_post_category` as b on a.`id` = b.`category_id` where b.`post_id` IN (61635,61637) order by a.`lft` asc1.02ms2.8KB/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php:298Copy
  • select a.*, b.`post_id` from `chip_easyblog_tag` as a inner join `chip_easyblog_post_tag` as b on a.`id` = b.`tag_id` where b.`post_id` IN (61635,61637)888μs1.48KB/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php:298Copy
  • select a.* from `chip_easyblog_revisions` as a where a.`id` IN ( 69473,69475)1.02ms81.3KB/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php:298Copy
  • select `a`.`id` as `cat_fg_id`, `a`.`category_id` as `cat_fg_category_id`, `a`.`group_id` as `cat_fg_group_id`, `fg`.`id` as `fg_id`, `fg`.`title` as `fg_title`, `fg`.`description` as `fg_description`, `fg`.`created` as `fg_created`, `fg`.`state` as `fg_state`, `fg`.`read` as `fg_read`, `fg`.`write` as `fg_write`, `fg`.`params` as `fg_params`, `f`.`id` as `f_id`, `f`.`group_id` as `f_group_id`, `f`.`title` as `f_title`, `f`.`help` as `f_help`, `f`.`state` as `f_state`, `f`.`required` as `f_required`, `f`.`type` as `f_type`, `f`.`params` as `f_params`, `f`.`created` as `f_created`, `f`.`options` as `f_options`, `f`.`ordering` as `f_ordering`,`fv`.`id` as `fv_id`, `fv`.`field_id` as `fv_field_id`, `fv`.`post_id` as `fv_post_id`, `fv`.`value` as `fv_value` from `chip_easyblog_category_fields_groups` as a inner join `chip_easyblog_post_category` as p on `a`.`category_id` = `p`.`category_id` inner join `chip_easyblog_fields_groups` as fg on `a`.`group_id` = `fg`.`id` inner join `chip_easyblog_fields` as f on `fg`.`id` = `f`.`group_id` left join `chip_easyblog_fields_values` as fv on `fv`.`field_id` = `f`.`id` and `fv`.`post_id` = `p`.`post_id` LEFT JOIN `chip_easyblog_fields_groups_acl` AS acl ON fg.`id` = acl.`group_id` where p.post_id IN (61635,61637) AND ( acl.`acl_id` IN(9) AND acl.`acl_type` = 'read' OR acl.`id` IS NULL )1.33ms2.83KB/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php:298Copy
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  • SELECT DISTINCT a.id, a.title, a.name, a.checked_out, a.checked_out_time, a.note, a.state, a.access, a.created_time, a.created_user_id, a.ordering, a.language, a.fieldparams, a.params, a.type, a.default_value, a.context, a.group_id, a.label, a.description, a.required, a.only_use_in_subform,l.title AS language_title, l.image AS language_image,uc.name AS editor,ag.title AS access_level,ua.name AS author_name,g.title AS group_title, g.access as group_access, g.state AS group_state, g.note as group_note FROM chip_fields AS a LEFT JOIN `chip_languages` AS l ON l.lang_code = a.language LEFT JOIN chip_users AS uc ON uc.id=a.checked_out LEFT JOIN chip_viewlevels AS ag ON ag.id = a.access LEFT JOIN chip_users AS ua ON ua.id = a.created_user_id LEFT JOIN chip_fields_groups AS g ON g.id = a.group_id LEFT JOIN `chip_fields_categories` AS fc ON fc.field_id = a.id WHERE ( (`a`.`context` = :context AND (`fc`.`category_id` IS NULL OR `fc`.`category_id` IN (:preparedArray1,:preparedArray2)) AND `a`.`access` IN (:preparedArray3,:preparedArray4)) AND (`a`.`group_id` = 0 OR `g`.`access` IN (:preparedArray5,:preparedArray6)) AND `a`.`state` = :state) AND (`a`.`group_id` = 0 OR `g`.`state` = :gstate) AND `a`.`only_use_in_subform` = :only_use_in_subform ORDER BY a.ordering ASC1.24ms4.75KBParams/libraries/src/MVC/Model/BaseDatabaseModel.php:164Copy
  • SELECT `m`.`id`,`m`.`title`,`m`.`module`,`m`.`position`,`m`.`content`,`m`.`showtitle`,`m`.`params`,`mm`.`menuid` FROM `chip_modules` AS `m` LEFT JOIN `chip_modules_menu` AS `mm` ON `mm`.`moduleid` = `m`.`id` LEFT JOIN `chip_extensions` AS `e` ON `e`.`element` = `m`.`module` AND `e`.`client_id` = `m`.`client_id` WHERE ( ( (`m`.`published` = 1 AND `e`.`enabled` = 1 AND `m`.`client_id` = :clientId AND `m`.`access` IN (:preparedArray1,:preparedArray2)) AND (`m`.`publish_up` IS NULL OR `m`.`publish_up` <= :publishUp)) AND (`m`.`publish_down` IS NULL OR `m`.`publish_down` >= :publishDown)) AND (`mm`.`menuid` = :itemId OR `mm`.`menuid` <= 0) ORDER BY `m`.`position`,`m`.`ordering`2.99ms34.44KBParams/libraries/src/Cache/Controller/CallbackController.php:51Copy
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  • SELECT `template` FROM `chip_template_styles` WHERE `home`!='0' AND `client_id`='0'849μs536B/libraries/foundry/helper.php:553Copy
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  • select SQL_CALC_FOUND_ROWS a.*, count(c.`id`) as `post_count` from `chip_easyblog_tag` as a left join `chip_easyblog_post_tag` as b on a.`id` = b.`tag_id` left join `chip_easyblog_post` as c on b.`post_id` = c.`id` and c.`published` = '1' and c.`state` = '0' LEFT JOIN `chip_users` AS uu ON c.`created_by` = uu.`id` where a.`published` = '1' AND (uu.`block` = 0 OR uu.`id` IS NULL) group by (a.`id`) order by `post_count` DESC204ms2.2KB/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php:298Copy
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    • Before Access::preloadComponents (all components) (19.42KB) (194μs)
    • After Access::preloadComponents (all components) (135.05KB) (2.4ms)
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    • select * from `chip_easyblog_meta` where `content_id` in (61636) and `type` = 'post'817μs928B/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php:298Copy
    • SELECT * FROM `chip_easyblog_meta` WHERE `content_id` = '61636' AND `type` = 'post'803μs928B/libraries/src/Table/Table.php:780Copy
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    • UPDATE `chip_easyblog_post` SET `hits` = (`hits` + 1) WHERE `id` = '61636'5.17ms48B/libraries/src/Table/Table.php:1348Copy
    • SELECT `key`,`value` FROM `chip_easyblog_post_assets` WHERE `post_id`='61636'776μs528B/administrator/components/com_easyblog/includes/utils.php:298Copy
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