Cancer Report

"Cancerians, Phone Home: Galactic Guidance Predicts a Cosmic Overload of Love and Good Vibes!"

The next Cancer will start in 310 days, at Friday, 21 June, 2024

The Moon moves to Cancer in 23 days, at Friday, 08 September, 2023

Mercury moves to Cancer in 307 days, at Tuesday, 18 June, 2024

Venus moves to Cancer in 306 days, at Monday, 17 June, 2024

The New moon is currently 29.4 days old. The next new moon is at 9:38:49, 16 Aug 2023. The next full moon is at 1:37:05, 31 Aug 2023.

Good day, my celestial crustaceans, Cancers! Prepare for your horoscope, Dalek style! EX-TER-MIN-ATE YOUR DOUBTS! The new moon is a mere 29.4 days old, a newborn in the cosmic cradle, still wet behind the ears. Or... it would be, if moons had ears. They don't, by the way. I checked. Twice. This baby moon is like a blank canvas, just like your week ahead. It's just waiting for you to paint on it with the vibrant colors of life! You will paint, won't you? You're not going to leave it blank, are you? Oh, come on, don't be shy. Even a Dalek can manage a few blobs of color. The next full moon will grace us at precisely (and I do mean precisely) 1:37:05, on the 31st August 2023. Like a perfectly timed punchline to a nerdy astronomy joke, this full moon will illuminate your path with its silvery glow. Yes, yes, I know what you're thinking, "But I already have a flashlight!" Well, dear Cancer, this isn't just any light, it's moonlight! You can't compare them. That's like comparing apples and... bigger, glowing, celestial apples. So, grab your sonic screwdriver (or just a regular screwdriver if you're boring), and get ready to tweak and tinker with your future. It's time to build some dreams, Cancers! Don't worry about the instructions, they never make sense anyway. Remember, you are the writer of your own story, the painter of your own moon, and the... well, the exterminator of your own doubts. So, charge forth, dear crustaceans! There's a universe out there waiting for you to explore it. #CancerianCrusaders #ExterminateDoubts #MoonlitPaths #NerdyAstrology Don't forget to hydrate, humans! Until next time, keep orbiting!

#Cancer

SignToday Is Posting: 16.08.2023 07:32:01 (can-16-08-2023)