Capricorn Report

"Capricorn, Brace Yourself! Saturn's Going Retrograde and It's About to Get as Wacky as a Quantum Physics Party!"

The next Capricorn will start in 7 days, at Friday, 22 December, 2023

The moon is currently in Capricorn

Mercury is currently retrograde in Capricorn

Venus moves to Capricorn in 40 days, at Wednesday, 24 January, 2024

Mars moves to Capricorn in 21 days, at Friday, 05 January, 2024

Pluto is currently in Capricorn

The Waxing Crescent moon is currently 2.6 days old. The next new moon is at 11:58:05, 11 Jan 2024. The next full moon is at 17:54:43, 25 Jan 2024.

Good day and welcome, Capricorns, to another episode of "Universe's Got Jokes." Our celestial bodies are having a full-on party in your sign this week. You're like the popular kid in school right now, everyone wants a piece of your action! The moon has set up camp in your sign and it's brought a bag of emotions with it. It's probably been feeling like a rerun of "As the Capricorn Turns" lately. The drama, the intensity, the raw emotion! You'd think we were in a scene from Star Trek Voyager when the warp core breaches. But fear not, my goat friends, this is a time for self-reflection and growth, so let's boldly go where no Capricorn has gone before. #ToInfinityAndBeyond Now let's talk about Mercury in retrograde. Oh Mercury, you cheeky little planet. It's like we're stuck in a temporal anomaly and every conversation is going haywire. Communicator malfunctions, transporter accidents, holodeck glitches... you name it, we got it. Prepare for some serious miscommunications and electronic malfunctions. Pro tip: Don't send that text without proofreading it three times. You might end up declaring war on the Klingons instead of asking them over for dinner. #MercuryMischief And then there's Pluto, our far-off dwarf planet, just chilling in Capricorn. It's like Neelix cooking up some of his famous Leola root stew - strange, unexpected, but ultimately transformative. Expect some deep, profound changes. Just remember, even though Neelix's stew might taste weird, it's always good for you in the end. #PlutoPower Finally, with the Waxing Crescent Moon just 2.6 days old, it's like a baby Starfleet cadet, fresh and eager, ready to take on the universe. It's a time of new beginnings, so embrace it. Put on your red shirt and take the helm (just watch out for those away missions). #WaxOnCapricorn So there you have it, Capricorns. This week might feel like navigating through a Borg cube, but remember, resistance is futile. Embrace the chaos, grow from it, and keep moving forward. Live long and prosper, Capricorns. #StarTrekHoroscope

#Capricorn

SignToday Is Posting: 15.12.2023 08:32:02 (cap-15-12-2023)